When insecurity guides your decisions, you will routinely try to talk yourself out of the things you really want to do. You will insist that the odds are stacked against you so there’s no point in even trying. You will also attempt to undermine the people who were brave enough to take a risk – especially the ones who became successful.
When insecurity guides your decisions, you will surround yourself with people who you know won’t challenge you. You will push away the people who pay attention and who care enough to question whether your choices are serving you. Instead, you will closely align yourself with people who help to reinforce your current narrative, no questions asked.
When insecurity guides your decisions, you will place more value on the opinions of others than on your own. You will abandon what you want after talking to a closed-minded relative or a friend you thought you could confide in. Their negative words will swirl around in your mind long enough to convince you to change direction. You will then find yourself agreeing with these sentiments that are purely designed to bring you down to their level, such as “your dreams are unrealistic” or “you should aim for something more attainable” – as though normalcy is something everyone should strive for.
When insecurity guides your decisions, you will aim to draw as much attention to yourself as possible. You will flawlessly play the role of the girl who has it all figured out. You will give your friends unsolicited life advice and then proceed to fill their newsfeeds with a series of calculated posts featuring you “living your best life,” as if that were the truth. You will do these things as a way to build up your self-esteem instead of confronting the real problem.
When insecurity guides your decisions, you will settle. You will settle for a partner who gives you just enough attention and affection to be satisfied in the relationship, because you believe that you’ll never be able to attract someone better. You will settle for a job you thought you wanted, one that doesn’t push you beyond your comfort zone. And when you try to come to terms with the choices you’ve made, you’ll tell yourself that it’s too late to change course.
When insecurity guides your decisions, you will realize over time that the life you’ve created for yourself is vastly unfulfilling. By always choosing the path of least resistance, you will never know what it is you’re truly capable of.
When insecurity guides your decisions, you will always wonder what you could’ve accomplished had you just tried.
One response to “This Is What Happens When Insecurity Guides Your Decisions”
Aww, I feel this, because I myself have allowed insecurity to rule over my life for many decades. Thanks for capturing this so well, and presenting it in such a pleasant way. Keep writing, Astrid!